When I become the Pokemon Master, I will dress like this every goddamned day.
But anyway, onto the points I've missed, by degree of difficulty:
I wanted to equip the type-enhancing items onto certain Pokemon who deserved it. The first one was the Poison Barb. I could give it to Arbok, but I didn't plan on ever using Arbok, so I decided to go a different route.
I had a Nidorina in my Red Version, but I never got around to evolving it. However, since I have a Moon Stone, the TM for Sandstorm, and a Nidorina at the right level to learn Body Slam if it evolved, I knew what I had to do.
Does anyone else find it weird that Jynx wears a dress, but Nidoqueen got her titties all out and about for all to see? Because let's face it: those are titties...and weird, different-color titties at that.
Then, there was the Hard Stone which empowers Rock-type moves. I want to give it to Geodude, but I've been neglecting him for too long. Besides, this opened up an opportunity to have a Pokemon notoriously known for being a heart-breaker...
Behold: the shiny Graveler! Self-destructing in caves and shattering the dreams of Pokemon trainers for as long as these games have been out. And now...he is MINE!
After the items were allotted, it was time to get my hands on the Pokemon that I was determined to acquire before moving on to the next game.
I can't believe I haven't gotten Eevee yet. Then again, I completely forgot how to acquire Eevee. I didn't realize that all I had to do was talk to Bill after he fixed the Time Machine thing at the Ecruteak Pokemon Center and he just gives you one. Also, didn't realize that you can buy one in Celadon City f you have 6666 coins. Oh...you know that's where my money is going, because you're DAMN RIGHT I'M GONNA GET THEM ALL!
Yeah guy! Now, with Electabuzz, Jynx, and Magmar, I can put them in the pen with Ditto and get me some kick-ass baby Pokemon. Granted, I don't have Pikachu, Jigglypuff, or Clefairy to do that with in this game, but then again, those baby Pokemon suck all the dicks in Kanto.
Speaking of baby Pokemon...
Part of me wants to turn him into a Hitmontop just because I've never owned one, but Hitmontop is stupid as hell. So...that's a decision for later.
Now...let me take a minute to speak about something that I feel very passionately about, but I feel that the anger within me that shall rise when I begin this discussion may cause my brain to erupt from my skull like Mount Vesuvius. So, I'm going to enter a very peaceful place and try to talk from there. Join me, won't you?
You see...I have a problem with the legendary Pokemon in this game.
Let me explain my problem in a comparative look from Generation-I to Generation-II.
This is Mewtwo. Like the legendary birds, Mewtwo only had two damage-causing moves. Now, when it comes to having only two damage-causing moons on a legendary Pokemon, you feel gipped when you catch it. Usually, though, they learn better things later, and that's fine; it's just a pain in the ass to train them up to those learning levels.
The moves Mewtwo has when you catch him are Psychic, Barrier, Swift, and Recover. This is a mediocre moves-set in battles where the goal is to knock out your opponent's Pokemon, but it's monstrous in a fight where you win just so long as you don't get trapped in an Ultra Ball. The techniques most trainers stay away from in capture-fights is poisoning, burning, and confusing, as they then cannot control when the effects stop causing damage, so they try to use freezing, paralyzing, and hypnotizing. However, those effects are either only temporary or not as reliable as the other effects, so your target Pokemon will continue to perform high-power attacks.
Your goal is to get Mewtwo weak enough to catch in an Ultra Ball while not being destroyed by his powerful Psychic attack. He'll use Barrier to armor himself if you try to weaken his Defense, he'll use Swift if you try to lower his Accuracy, you won't be able to hit him with enough stat-decreasing moves to lower his Attack or Special before he obliterates you, so you'll have to hit him hard and hope he doesn't faint. Then, once he's down there, you need to stun him some way; however, the more effective the condition is, the harder it is to cause. You can paralyze Mewtwo right off the bat with Thunderwave or Glare and it will be with him for the entire battle, but it's not nearly as effective and he can still attack. You can try to put him to sleep, but the sleep-causing moves may have no effect or he can wake up at any point, possibly even the next turn. You can try freezing him, but no moves in Generation-I are geared towards solely causing the frozen condition, so you have to hit him with Ice-type attacks and pray it won't kill him. Even if you get him down to one health point and he's been doing two wiggles before breaking the Ultra Ball, he can use Recover with infinite power points, return his health to the green half of the bar, and force you to restart the entire process.
However, the gods were merciful to you...
You are given one Master Ball...the only Master Ball. Everything you've been encountering thus far and everything you've been told has engrained in you that the Master Ball was meant to catch Mewtwo and that Mewtwo belonged in the Master Ball. It would not fail to catch him and you would be in possession of the hands-down most powerful Pokemon in the game.
Then, the gods decided to shit in your mouth in Generation-II. You still got one Master Ball and a legendary trio, but there wasn't just one "Mewtwo"...there were two: Lugia and Ho-Oh.
Because I'm playing Silver, I encountered Lugia first. He was at level 40 and knew Aeroblast, Safeguard, Gust, and Recover. Looks somewhat familiar to Mewtwo's moves set, doesn't it? There's one massive attack that does stab damage, there's one weaker move that you're hoping he uses instead of the powerful one, there's the move that prevents damage from occurring for a short while, and there's fucking Recover that will bring you back to square-one. If I was playing Gold, I would have encountered him much later at level 70 and he would have known Swift, Rain Dance, Hydro Pump, and of course...Recover. This also resembles Mewtwo's moves set, only instead of a defensive move that lasts for a few rounds, he now has an offensive move that lasts for a few rounds to increase the power of only that ass-kicking move of his that, like Recover, does not have a power point limit; he can use it as often as he wants and he found a way to make it more powerful than it already was.
So, you're thinking to yourself that this might be the right place to use the Master Ball. But then, you realize that Lugia isn't the only legendary Pokemon in this game.
I encountered Ho-Oh at level 70 with him knowing Swift, Sunny Day, Fire Blast, and of fucking course...Recover. However, if this was Gold and he was at level 40, he'd know Sacred Fire, Safeguard, Gust, and...you guessed it, Recover. It is the exact same moves set split between Lugia and Ho-Oh, just altered to ensure they both get stab damage for their respective types. In this sense, however, Lugia is easier to deal with than Ho-Oh at level 70 because Lugia loses the stab-damage advantage when his most powerful attack becomes Hydro Pump. Yet, you inevitably come to the horrible realization that you will have to legitimately battle, wound, and catch at least one of these birds while the other one will be caught with the Master Ball. So, you resign yourself to the notion that the Master Ball should be used to catch the Pokemon at level 70 because that would be the more difficult battle overall, and that you should fight the bird that appears at level 40 and try to catch it with an Ultra Ball.
You would think it would be that simple, but the gods are no longer as merciful as they were...
This game's legendary trio (Raikou, Entei, and Suicune) are perhaps the most notoriously difficult Pokemon in the history of the franchise to catch. Whereas most legendary Pokemon have the decency to initially appear in one place, not run away, and not self-destruct, these Pokemon will only consent to not exploding. Their appearances are totally random, they are constantly on the move, and if you are fortunate enough to encounter one, they will most probably run away before you are able to accomplish anything. Therefore, unless you have a Pokemon at level 70 or so with Mean Look, False Swipe, and a move that causes sleep or paralysis, you stand very little chance; furthermore, even if you do have that Pokemon, each of them can use the move Roar, which causes you to run away from battle.
Because of the frustration factor, many people believe that the Master Ball is meant to capture one of them, just to save yourself some time. I, for example, used mine to catch Entei. Now, this would be fine were it not for the fact that each of these Pokemon's starting moves set is abysmal at best and unless you have enough TM's to completely revamp their attack layout, they're better used as trophies than combatants.
So, once you catch one of them and get utterly shit-shafted by your decision on when to use the Master Ball, you realize that you must now face the two Recover-using Pokemon without the aid of the Master Ball...and a part of you dies a little when you experience the difficulty of catching the first one on your own and you imagine how hard it must be to catch the other.
Ho-Oh was, by far, the biggest pain in my ass I have ever encountered...perhaps worse so than Scyther in the Safari Zone, because at least in the Safari Zone, you felt like the odds could change at any second. Not here, however. Ho-Oh was ruthless. I walked into that battle with 25 Ultra Balls and had to throw 11 in order to catch him...and that was on the successful run. I had done countless failed runs where I had knocked him out, had run out of Ultra Balls, had run out of Revives on my Pokemon that had sleep/paralysis-causing moves, or simple faced a total party kill.
Why did this happen so often that I almost broke my power switch on my Gameboy Advance? Because of fucking Recover. You work so goddamned hard to get him down into the yellow, then you either switch out to a weaker Pokemon or use a much weaker attack to whittle him down into the deep red, put him to sleep, and then...like a sick joke...he wakes up or fights off the paralysis just in time to heal himself to a point where you feel uncomfortable using your more powerful moves for fear it might kill him, but enough to make you see that all your hard fucking work went right down the shitter and you're basically starting again from square-goddamned-one!
If you want to throw legendary Pokemon into a game that know Recover, have one move to bank on with infinitely more power points when they're wild than when they're caught, shit that makes either your stat-reducing moves useless, your damage-causing attacks weaker/useless, and a move that empowers the fuck-your-shit attack, then you better only put one of those sons of bitches in the game because I am NOT prepared to face that shit twice. I'll accept once, but if you perverted the divine gift of the Master Ball, Generation-II: whereas using it to catch Mewtwo was like the hand of God reaching into your heart and filling your soul with warmth and love, it became more like a cold pillow on the face of a suffering invalid in hospice. The deus ex machina of the Master Ball was violated, mutilated, and transformed into a tool of frustration-euthanasia...but even then, it isn't a true end to the suffering, because there's four more insufferably arduous legendary Pokemon out there that you are compelled from the deepest recesses of your being to catch.
I have suffered for my quintet, but I have them all, and I hate every last fucking one of them. I beat the Elite Four predominantly with Pokemon from the original Kanto 150 with some moves from the new generation. I went up against them once with Entei and Lugia and I got fucking spanked. What is the incentive? Why have these fucking trophy pieces if they turn into goddamned dust when you try to use them for their intended purpose?! Why bother leveling them if more common Pokemon can learn more moves and have more customization possibilities? Do you feel more special bringing in these ugly, useless sacks of shit into a battle with your friends, or would you rather spend your time wandering the wild, hoping to find a shiny common Pokemon that actually has some fucking use?
You know what? I would have been happy if you just gave me Zapdos again. Zapdos was a fucking monster and was the single-most useful and powerful member of my Gen-I team. You don't even have to give him any new moves! Drill Peck and Thundershock was all he fucking knew when I caught him and I nearly creamed in my fucking pants to get that! But you give me some blue gazelle with a fucking pussy nailed to his forehead or that useless pseudo-tiger thunder-cunt Raikou with Bite, Leer, Roar, and Quick Attack where he doesn't even get a fucking type-attack when you catch him?! I don't give a flying fuck-in-the-ass that he learns Spark at level 41 when you catch him at level 40; I don't even want to waste the Rare-goddamned-Candy on this sack of shit to give him stab damage because I'd rather give myself stab damage with a steak knife than use any of my hard-won, hard-earned, and hard-found resources on making you marginally more useful than you original were but still catastrophically less useful than you fucking ought to be and I deserve you to be when I wasted all my goddamn time trying to catch you!
So fuck you, Lugia, fuck you, Ho-Oh, and fuck you, you so-called "legendary" beasts! You can suck every fucking ball that has ever been broken by your goddamned shenanigans! And for the love of God and all that is holy...FUCK RECOVER!!!!!!
...
Sorry...looks like YouTube switched me over to Metallica halfway through that rant.
Anyway, I've got anger pouring through my veins like a Sith lord and there's only one gym left to conquer. Who's up for some unfinished business?
Feraligatr, lvl 60
Ampharos, lvl 60
Jynx, lvl 59
Kadabra, lvl 58
Magmar, lvl 57
Pidgeot, lvl 57
Pokedex: 82, Badges: 15
