Welcome to the party, Totodile--!
Oh shit. I just realized something.
I named my character after a hurricane...and I picked the Water-type starter.
It's almost as if it was meant to be...
Too late to change it now! I've already hit the Save button!
Also, I just want to say that I really enjoy the revamp on the move Rage. It is no longer a full-battle commitment move. It just does damage like a regular fucking attack and increases in power if your Pokemon gets hit, and that is lovely.
Now...Mr. Pokemon...
Who the fuck is this guy? Why does everyone respect him so much? Weird hermit-ass guy, chilling out in the woods, calling himself Mr. Pokemon. Fucking loon.
OH SHIT! WHAT'S UP, OAK? What are you doing in the middle of--
POKEDEX! Fucking yoink!
But yeah, I love how he's just chilling out there with a brand new version of the Pokedex that can fit all 250 Pokemon in it now. I like to imagine the scene went like this...
OAK: There! Finally, I've invented the Pokedex, a digital catalogue of all 150 Pokemon! Here you go, Fag-Bag, and here you go, Fuck, I. Have fun!
AIDE: Professor, there's someone here from Goldenrod City who wants you to do a radio show about Pokemon.
OAK: Goldenrod City? Where the hell is that?
AIDE: It's in Johto, Professor, a few miles or so west of Viridian City.
OAK: Never heard of it.
AIDE: Well, they want you to do a radio talk show there where you discuss you in-depth knowledge of all 250 Pokemon.
OAK: Well, I'm very flattered, but--wait WHAT?! There's HOW MANY?!
AIDE: 250. Wait...did you seriously think there were only 150? That's just in the Kanto region--
OAK: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!?!? WHAT ABOUT THE POKEDEX?!?!?!?!
AIDE: I thought you were making it just for the Kanto region--!
OAK: It was supposed to be GLOBAL! SHIT! SHIT! RECALL ALL MODELS! GET ME PROFESSOR ELM AND MR. POKEMON ON THE PHONE! WE'VE GOT FUCKING WORK TO DO!
AIDE: But don't you want to see your grandson challenge the Elite Four? I heard he just made it up to Indigo Plateau a little while ago.
OAK: Fag-Bag is doing WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! GODDAMN IT! I'll be right back! We're pulling an all-nighter if we have to, but damn it, we are finishing this new Pokedex!
AIDE: But the radio show airs at 9:00am! How are you--?
OAK: I'M SAMUEL MOTHERFUCKING OAK! I WILL MAKE THIS SHIT WORK!
My visit to the creepy-ass house in the middle of the woods is short-lived, however, since I got a phone call from Professor Elm telling me that some sort of disaster has struck the research lab and that I need to head back to New Bark Town.
...hurricane?
Refer to the above Venn diagram if you have any questions.
Apparently, this guy has some beef with me, though. He thinks I'm some sort of wimp and I don't deserve my good Pokemon. Funny, he reminds me of the guy I saw creeping by the lab a few minutes ago, and he's using a Chikorita, just like the one I saw in the lab--GASP!
His name is ???. Seriously, that's what he told me his name is: three question marks. I wish I really could have confiscated his stolen Chikorita, but such is the way of life. I didn't roll no 20-20-17, so I don't get a Chikorita.
The cop at the lab asked me for the thief's name. Well...I'm not exactly sure what to tell him. He said his name was ???, so...
My rival's name is Three Question Marks, or "???" for short. Didn't want to call him Fag-Bag, because there already is a Fag-Bag and we don't want that shit getting confused.
The moment we always wait for...our first set of Pokeballs! Let's do this!
Pro-Tip: The first route of the game is the fucking same as the last game. Don't bother with Rattata or Sentret...they're Normal-type rat-ass Pokemon and they suck boners.
This guy, however, I don't need to reiterate or explain how fucking useful he is. He basically took out the hardest gym leaders in Kanto for me and I'm gonna get him back in my team!
Always catch a Weedle. Never catch Kakuna. Kakuna can't learn Poison Sting or String Shot. Weedle can learn Harden.
Remember the Pro-Tips and you'll survive through the night.
Totodile, lvl 12
Pidgey, lvl 5
Weedle, lvl 4
Pokedex: 3, Badges: 0
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