Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Fuck, I...


Mount Silver: Fuck, I, the Underdog-Turned-Master

Holy shit, the time has finally come.  Brace yourselves...


ROUND ONE:


Sandy's Feraligatr, lvl 61     vs.     Fuck, I's Pikachu, lvl 81

You've got to be fucking kidding me with this! Level 81 right off the bat?! Jesus Christ!

Pikachu used Charm.  Oh shit...he's not looking at taking me out here with Pikachu; he's looking at crippling me for the later battles!

Earthquake knocks out Pikachu in one shot, despite Feraligatr's Attack stat dropping severely.  It isn't going to be this easy from here on out...

ROUND TWO:


Sandy's Magmar, lvl 58     vs.     Fuck, I's Venusaur, lvl 77

I know I have the advantage here on speed, but I have to take this leafy tank out A.S.A.P.!

Fire Blast hits, but doesn't quite knock Venusaur out--

It's taking in sunlight.  I'm glad I didn't take the gambit with Sunny Day, but now I have to take him out right now or it's gonna be over for Magmar.

Flamethrower does the job! Great going, Magmar! Let's keep the trend going.

ROUND THREE:


Sandy's Kadabra, lvl 58     vs.     Fuck, I's Umbreon, lvl 73

Alright, I've seen how tough Karen's Umbreon was, so Espeon must be equally tough.  Good thing Kadabra is fast as--

Psychic hits Kadabra! Despite not being very effective, he's down to 75/145 health?! Holy shit!!!

Kadabra slams into Espeon with Shadow Ball, but it only takes away a third of its health.  Kadabra, you can't survive this battle if we use the regular techniques; we have to go a little unorthodox.

Max Potion.  Let's buy us some time and hope he uses Reflect to give us some attack time.

Psychic hits twice consecutively and Kadabra is out cold! Uh oh...I better think about this.  I've still got four Max Revives and a few Full Restores from when I was going to take on the Elite Four, so I may have to change strategies.

ROUND FOUR:


Sandy's Ampharos, lvl 60     vs.     Fuck, I's Espeon, lvl 73

Ampharos packs a solid punch, but I don't know if he can take Espeon out.  The best I can do is use him to get Espeon weakened.

Psychic nearly levels Ampharos, leaving him at 83/209 health.  Let's put all our eggs in the accuracy basket for this one, Ampharos...

THUNDER HITS! But Espeon is still hanging on, albeit from a thread?!?

Psychic hits again and Ampharos is down for the count.  I don't need a heavy hitter for this next round...just someone fast enough.

ROUND FIVE:


Sandy's Pidgeot, lvl 58     vs.     Fuck, I's Espeon, lvl 73

Even Pidgeot isn't fast enough to get the first shot and Espeon knocks it down to 45/200 health.  Come on, buddy! You can do this!

Wing Attack lands and Espeon finally goes down! This is getting much more difficult by the second.

ROUND SIX:


Sandy's Pidgeot, lvl 58     vs.     Fuck, I's Blastoise, lvl 77

I don't expect a miracle here from you, Pidgeot...but hang in there as long as you can.  Ampharos can take him out, so I have to use the first move to use a Max Revive on Ampharos.  Just hang in there.

Blizzard misses, but this is bad news for Pidgeot if this attack hits.

Pidgeot, fly up quickly! Blastoise misses his next Blizzard and Pidgeot dives into Blastoise, taking away a third of it's health.

Blizzard finally hits and Pidgeot is a goner.  You did well, old friend.  I won't be needing you for the rest of this fight, so rest up.

ROUND SEVEN:


Sandy's Ampharos, lvl 60     vs.     Fuck, I's Blastoise, lvl 77

Blastoise isn't about to use Blizzard again, not on Ampharos, so let's see what else he has in his repertoire...

Whirlpool! But it misses! Ampharos...focus now...focus...

THUNDER HITS AGAIN AND BLASTOISE IS STRUCK DOWN--!

Oh no...

ROUND EIGHT:


Sandy's Magmar, lvl 58     vs     Fuck, I's Snorlax, lvl 75

This thing is a fucking tank, and since only Charizard remains after Snorlax, I can afford to lose Magmar in this fight, but not after doing some serious damage.

Sunny Day should help out Fire Blast on the next turn--

Amnesia...raises Special Defense! Oh, this just got a lot worse. Let's pray for that miracle now.

Fire Blast hits, but even with Sunny Day, it barely scratches Snorlax.  This is a problem.

Body Slam takes Magmar down to 29/164.  He won't survive another hit, so I have to risk it in order to cause confusion...

Dynamicpunch...misses.  It's not your fault Magmar; you did great.

Snorlax Body Slams Magmar and he's out cold.  Okay...think here...think...

I've got it!

ROUND NINE:


Sandy's Ampharos, lvl 60     vs.     Fuck, I's Snorlax, lvl 75

It's another risky shot, but if this works, then I've got Snorlax on a ticking clock...

Zap Cannon hits! It doesn't do a lot of damage at all, but Snorlax is paralyzed, meaning he can't use Rest to regain health! Great job, Ampharos!

Body Slam takes Ampharos down to 95/209 and paralyzes it.  I can't let him fight if his speed is compromised.  I have to use another Full Restore.

Body Slam hits again, but only brings him down to 104/209 this time.  Let's see what we can do, Ampharos.

Thunder hits again, but Snorlax still has just about half of his health left.  Don't worry, buddy; I'll bring you back soon.

Body Slam.  Ampharos is out.  I have to bring the pain here.

ROUND TEN:


Sandy's Feraligatr, lvl 61     vs.     Fuck, I's Snorlax, lvl 75

This is becoming a marathon battle.  Fortunately for me, Feraligatr is my strongest Pokemon when it comes to Defense stats, so he can take the abuse from Snorlax.  I'll use one of my three remaining Max Revives on Ampharos.

Body Slam takes Feraligatr down to...139/214.  He's still in the green--

Wait a minute! That's it! It takes three Body Slams to take out Feraligatr with Snorlax's current strength, so I can use of Feraligatr's two turns before he faints to heal while the other one can be used to pound into Snorlax...and if Snorlax can't Rest if he's still paralyzed, I can take him out in just a few more rounds!

Earthquake takes Snorlax into yellow health finally.  His Special Defense might has risen sharply from Amnesia, but I can still attack his regular Defense!

The second Body Slam hits and Feraligatr is down to 59/214 health.  Time to heal up.

The Full Restore brings Feraligatr back to full, but the incoming Body Slam knocks him down to 129/214.  I'm playing it really close here.

Earthquake tears Snorlax apart and he's into deep red health.  One more and he's done.

Body Slam...critically hits and Feraligatr is out?!?! Oh shit!!!

We're down to the wire now...

ROUND ELEVEN:


Sandy's Ampharos, lvl 60     vs.     Fuck, I's Snorlax, lvl 75

Ampharos, you're the only one fast enough to hit him that I trust can land the shot.  Besides, you have a score to settle...

Thunderpunch hits! SNORLAX GOES DOWN!

Alright...we're at the sixth and final Pokemon and I don't think Ampharos can take him, so I'm sorry pal, but I need you to take one more hit for me.

ROUND TWELVE:


Sandy's Ampharos, lvl 60     vs.     Fuck, I's Charizard, lvl 77

I have to use the Max Revive on Feraligatr for this one.  If anyone can take out Charizard, it's Feraligatr.  Ampharos, you've made me very proud...

Flamethrower hits twice consecutively and Ampharos goes down.  Alright...time to end this.

ROUND THIRTEEN:


Sandy's Feraligatr, lvl 61     vs.     Fuck, I's Charizard, lvl 77

I can't let this ride all on Feraligatr, as much as I'd like to, so I'm using my final Max Revive back on Ampharos and hoping for the best.  If Water can't beat Fire, then Electric can try against Flying.  Jynx is my absolute last resort, since Ice is only going to be normally effective against Fire/Flying, but Charizard is going to be super-effective against her.  I hope this works...

Flamethrower hits for critical damage and takes Feraligatr down to 96/214!!! Goddamn! We gotta shake this off and start over with a Full Restore!

Fire Spin comes next and only takes Feraligatr down to 203/214, 190/214 with the after-burn.

Alrighty, let's hit this guy with a--

Charizard attacks AGAIN?!? Oh shit! I forgot from my fight with Lance that Charizard is way faster than Feraligatr, especially when he's got the level-advantage.  Feraligatr is now down to 130/214.

Alright, Feraligatr...I've had just about enough of this guy.  Show him why we're the reigning Champions of the Pokemon League!

Hydro Pump hits and slaps Charizard down into the deep red portion of his health! Yeah! Now, we just have to survive the incoming onslaught...

Fire Spin burns down to 117/214.  We can't risk the onslaught without a little help, so take the last Full Restore, Feraligatr.

Charizard responds that round with Flamethrower and takes Feraligatr down to 149/214.  Fire Spin then burns him down to 136/214.

We can end it here, Feraligatr.  Get ready to use Surf after his next attack...if we can survive it...

Flamethrower hits at the top of the round...and we're still in the game at 69/214! WE'RE STILL IN THIS!!! NOW, FERALIGATR!!!!!! SURF!!!!!!

The health is going...

Going...

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...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...gone.

We...we did it guys...we've won.

Yet somehow...I don't feel like we've won.

Not yet, anyhow...

Feraligatr, lvl 61
Ampharos, lvl 60
Jynx, lvl 59
Kadabra, lvl 58
Magmar, lvl 58
Pidgeot, lvl 58

Pokedex: 92, Badges: 16

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