In Search Of Closure

Why do I feel...incomplete? I've beaten all eight gyms in Johto, I've beaten the Elite Four, I've tracked down all the legendary Pokemon and captured them, I've even travelled to Kanto and defeated their gym leaders.  What is there left to do?

I don't want to catch all 251 Pokemon because it would be impossible, not having access to Celebi or Mew, and trading for all of them would take way too much time.

This is so weird...I only started feeling this way after my battle with Fuck, I.

It's funny...when I played through Red Version, Fuck, I never caught a Venusaur or a Blastoise, he evolved his Pikachu into Raichu and his Eevee into Vaporeon, and had a lot better Pokemon to use that got seemingly ignored.  Where was his Articuno that destroyed Lance of the Elite Four? Where was his Alakazam that brought him the victory over Fag-Bag? Where was the legendary Zapdos that obliterated  Sabrina's unstoppable Alakazam? Why, when I was Fuck, I, I had a lot more--

Oh...my god.

That's it.  That's it, isn't it?! That's what Sabrina meant! I don't have the feeling of defeating Fuck, I because I didn't really defeat him...because I am Fuck, I! I have his true Charizard, his Zapdos, his Articuno, his Alakazam, his Mewtwo, his Vaporeon and all his other Pokemon locked away in my Red Version cartridge! I won't be able to get the feeling of true completion until I defeat the real Fuck, I...myself...in all his true power.

But that can never happen...I don't have a link-cable or an extra Gameboy.  Even if I did, I wouldn't be able to pit Sandy against Fuck, I because of the cross-generation obstacles; the Red Version wouldn't know how to handle seeing an Ampharos, know how Shadow Ball works, understand the concept of held items, or any of the new developments in the later Pokemon games.

That sucks.  I was really hoping to get some closure on this, but if the game is done and there's nothing left to do, then the only thing to do now is put the Silver Version away and look up what they're charging for  used Generation-III game.  Let me just put the cartridge in the drawer and--

What's this?

Oh wow! I haven't seen a Nintendo 64 Transfer Pak in ages! Too bad it only ever worked with Pokemon Stadium; it might have been cool if--

JESUS TITTY-FUCKING CHRIST! THAT'S IT!

I STILL HAVE POKEMON STADIUM 2, ALONG WITH MY N64 AND AT LEAST TWO CONTROLLERS!

If I can get my hands on another Transfer Pak, I can hook up my Red Version and my Silver Version into a single, third-party engine and use Fuck, I's roster and Sandy's roster simultaneously through different players! The true battle-of-the-champions can happen!!!

I stopped playing Red Version as frequently as I was when I started this chapter of the blog, so Sandy's Pokemon are at a much higher level than most of Fuck, I's.  Also, they haven't yet created a way to equalize the levels on the battlefield, so it wouldn't be a fair fight.  This means I have to set down a few rules in order to make sure the fight is fair.

RULE ONE:   This will be a six-on-six battle consisting of no less than six rounds and no more than eleven rounds; the battle is to be fought within Prime Cup regulations, meaning that no Pokemon is banned from battling.

RULE TWO:   No Pokemon may possess held items that may heal it mid-battle or increase its power in any way.

RULE THREE:   No Pokemon may switch out of battle once it has been called forth unless it faints and is no longer able to battle.

RULE FOUR:   No trainer may use items during the battle to heal his Pokemon, as the game does not factor in player inventory.

RULE FIVE:   Each Pokemon in the combatants' teams shall be trained up to the level of the strongest Pokemon intended for use and no Pokemon shall exceed that level upon the day of battle.

RULE SIX:   A trainer is considered the winner of the battle when all of his opponents Pokemon have fainted and are unable to battle.  The trainer who wins two out of three battles wins the match and is considered the victor.

RULE SEVEN:   The players controlling Fuck, I and Sandy will switch roles at the end of each battle to ensure fair gameplay and dispersal of technique.  A coin will be tossed to determine who starts as which trainer.

That's it, you guys.  There isn't going to be much more to talk about in Silver, other than leveling or breeding certain Pokemon to get their new evolutions, so I'm going to call it a night on Generation-II.  But don't you worry, I'm far from done! Be sure to look for the ultimate battle between Fuck, I and Sandy, as well as other amazing adventures that I've never even seen before in my next blog...

"The Expansion to Emerald: A Generation-III Adventure"!

Thanks for coming along for the ride down Nostalgia Lane, internet, and I hope you'll be there right alongside me as I experience all the new shit they added to the game since my fourteen year old self thought the new Pokemon games were "stupid" and decided not to play them.

I really hope they don't suck...