I'm not a big fan of the fact that this "town" has a gym. It doesn't even have a Pokemart.
But it has a gym...
...bullshits.
By the way, the names for the gym leaders have gotten more clever since Bugsy, and I thought I should point that out.
Whitney = white = the Normal-type color code
Morty = morte = death = Ghost-types
Chuck = nunchuk = Fighting-types
Jasmine = mine = Steel-types
Pryce = ice = Ice-types
Clever shits.
ROUND ONE:
Sandy's Flaafy, lvl 29 vs. Pryce's Seel, lvl 27
Why are the Pokemon at lower levels here? I fought some high-levelled shit over in Olivine City. Where the fuck is the effort here?! Shame on you, old man.
Thundershock takes Seel down to almost half. Not a bad start, but it's clear that we're gonna be pretty evenly matched.
Icy Wind takes away 9 points of health. Alright. Couldn't be bothered with Aurora Beam? I know you have it. It probably would have done a lot better than Icy Wind.
Thundershock again, but this time, it's critical and Seel goes down in a blaze of shame.
ROUND TWO:
Sandy's Vulpix, lvl 24 vs. Pryce's Piloswine, lvl 31
Okay, this is a little bit more of the challenge I was expecting from the seventh Johto gym...because let's face it: this old fuck ain't no Blaine.
Confuse Ray. Let's start this shit off dirty, Vulpix.
Piloswine hurts itself. That's what I'm talking about!
Ember is super-effective, even though it doesn't do a whole lot of damage.
Mist? Piloswine...that's not gonna help you. I fucking hate stat-dropping moves, so you have just wasted your momentary clarity from the confusion.
Ember again. Now Piloswine is in the yellow, but he's not confused anymore.
BLIZZARD!?!?!
Well...thank God the asshole missed. He has no eyes. HOW DID YOU EXPECT THIS WOULD WORK?!?!
Confuse Ray again. Fuck this fuzzy-ass footstool.
Quit hurting yourself! Quit hurting yourself! Oh wait...no...don't stop that. And while you're at it, don't stop believing; hold on to that feeling...OF PAIN! Oh, NO Journey for you!
A third Ember and Piloswine is hurting badly...
Then it hurts itself further and knocks itself right the fuck out.
ROUND THREE:
Sandy's Magmar, lvl 27 vs. Pryce's Dewgong, lvl 29
This may seem kinda dumb, but there's logic behind this. Dewgong probably doesn't have any Water-type attacks, since Pryce focuses too much on the Ice-type moves. Meanwhile, Magmar has...
DYNAMICPUNCH!
Shit, it missed. That would have been SO cool if that hit right as I was explaining this shit to you. Anyway, it would have been super-effective and it would have confused Dewgong. Eh, c'est la vie...
Icy Wind. Even less damage than what it did to Flaaffy. This move, methinks, sucks balls.
But what doesn't suck is...
DYNAMICPU--
Fucking Headbutt...fine. You get your one extra hit, but lemme just say--
DYNAMICMOTHERFUCKINGPUNCH! Shit hits, the dope is confused, and Magmar's winding up the coup-de-grace with Dewgong at just above quarter health.
And it hurts itself! A great day for confusion everywhere!
Fire Punch. Game over, old man. Your Glacierbadge will join the other trophies I have taken from your fallen brethren as I journey into the beyond...to Blackthorn City!
Also, I get to use Whirlpool now. I have the HM. Lance gave it to me. Are there whirlpools on the way to Blackthorn City? I hope so. Honestly, I just want the Silver Wing so I can get me my Lugia.
Side-note...where the fuck is my Master Ball?
Oh...I apparently have to defeat Clair in Blackthorn and then retrieve the Dragon Fang from the--
Oh! Professor Elm...wasn't expecting a call from you--
...oh, I see...Team Rocket is where?
...and they're using the Radio Tower to do what?
...I'm on my way.
Bitches don't know when to throw in the towel, do they?
Feraligatr, lvl 33
Heracross, lvl 30
Flaaffy, lvl 29
Magmar, lvl 27
Vulpix, lvl 24
Weepinbell, lvl 23
Pokedex: 53, Badges: 7
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