Johto? More Like JOKE-TO!

This gym specializes in Normal-type Pokemon.   Or rather, I should say that they were stuck with Normal-type Pokemon after they drew that out of a hat back at Pokemon League HQ.  My strategy? Hit them with a wide variety of any other possible types, and throw a Ghost-type in there to fuck with them.  Let's be serious now.  Real talk.  I will let Gastly die so one of Whitney's Pokemon gets cursed.  True story.

Goldenrod City Gym: Whitney, the Slut

Outside of the gyms, there's usually a sign that indicates what kind of type-challenge you'll face inside.  Outside the Goldenrod Gym, all it says is "Whitney, the Incredibly Pretty Girl!"

What the fuck am I supposed to do with that information? Sigh.  Let's just fucking get this over with...

ROUND ONE:

Sandy's Bellsprout, lvl 18     vs.     Whitney's Clefairy, lvl 18

Shouldn't be too much of an uphill climb here.  Then again, Metronome could fuck everything up the ass.

Use Poisonpowder.  Even if you fall, I want Clefairy to suffer.

It's poisoned, but it still used Metronome.  Sludge Bomb, and it hits pretty hard.  Bellsprout's at 31/53.

I'm gonna risk using Growth so I can hit it hard with Vine Whip.  Bellsprout's also carrying the Miracle Seed, so it should fucking hurt when it does hit.

Metronome again.  Hi Jump Kick.  Not very effective, but now I'm down to 23/53.

Vine Whip.  Not good...just barely down to below half health.

Mimic? The thing learned Vine Whip?! Shit! Geodude's gonna have to sit down until this thing is dead.

The poison is still hurting it, so use Cut and try to end this thing.  GAH! So close!

And he misses Doubleslap! Good!

AND THE POISON TAKES HIM DOWN! AWW YEAH!

Bellsprout, I'm afraid you must stay in to poison the next opponent.  You may fall, but such is your role on the team.

ROUND TWO:

Sandy's Bellsprout, lvl 18     vs.     Whitney's Miltank, lvl 20

Second verse, same as the first.  Poisonpowder--

Stomp.  Out like a light.  Okay, fucker, let's do this thing.

ROUND THREE:

Sandy's Gastly, lvl 18     vs.     Whitney's Miltank, lvl 20

Now, you die.

Rollout? That can hit me? Oh shit, is that a Ground-type move?!?!

Oops.

Curse is in effect.  I'm down to 10/40, but that's fine.  I knew why I brought Gastly here with me.

Rollout again, and Gastly is down.

The curse has yet to injure Miltank, but I know something that will.

ROUND FOUR:

Sandy's Kadabra, lvl 20     vs.     Whitney's Miltank, lvl 20

Hey bitch, you ever been to Saffron City?

Confusion! Quarter of the health only.

Rollout...down to 6/51.

The curse knocks this shit-head down into the yellow!

Confusion again!

Miltank is in the red, but the next Rollout is gonna--

IT FUCKING MISSED! IT FUCKING MISSED!

GASTLY FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE, SLUT!

Now, Kadabra gets to learn Psybeam and forget Headbutt, I get the Plainbadge, the ability to use Strength outside of battle, my Pokemon get better Speed, and TM 45 that teaches Attract.  Could help if Jasmine's Steelix is a male.  I just gotta remember what Vulpix knows already--

BITCH STOP CRYING!

Kadabra, lvl 21

Croconaw, lvl 20

Geodude*, lvl 20

Pidgeotto, lvl 19

Bellsprout, lvl 18

Gastly, lvl 18

Pokedex: 26, Badges: 3