I'm relying on Kabadra and Haunter. If they fall (since they're my glass cannons), I have a slew of Pokemon who have plenty of non-Normal attacks and I should be able to survive this battle. This gym is where playtime ends and the shit-storms begin.
Ecruteak City Gym: Morty...He'll Bleed You, Real Quiet, and Leave You Here
Are we noticing the Predator references? We fucking BETTER BE!
ROUND ONE:
Sandy's Haunter, lvl 25 vs. Morty's Gastly, lvl 21
Let's start with Lick. Hopefully, we'll get a paralysis out of it.
AND WE DO! BOOYAH!
Curse! Fuck me! Gastly is out but Haunter is in deep shit. I better switch him out for the next opponent. The curse is lifted once the Pokemon is switched out, so we'll just give Haunter some time on the bench.
ROUND TWO:
Sandy's Kadabra, lvl 24 vs. Morty's Haunter, lvl 21
C'mon, Kadabra. Cobra Kai Dojo. Psybeam!
One-hit K.O.! Good job! High-five! Shit...you have three fingers.
ROUND THREE:
Sandy's Kadabra, lvl 24 vs. Morty's Gengar, lvl 25
STRIKE FIRST! STRIKE HARD! NO MERCY, SIR!
PSYBEAM!
Gengar's in the red, but this is a battle of glass cannons, and anything could happen.
Shadow Ball. Fffffffffuck. That's a one-shot K.O. Should have swept the leg.
ROUND FOUR:
Sandy's Kadabra, lvl 24 vs. Morty's Gengar, lvl 25
Just survive, Haunter. That's all you need to do.
Night Shade takes down Gengar! Sorry, Gengar...once you grow legs, you get much slower.
ROUND FIVE:
Sandy's Haunter, lvl 24 vs. Morty's Haunter, lvl 23
It is down to the wire now. Head-to-head with our strongest---
WAIT A FUCKING SECOND! GODDAMN IT, JOHTO! YOU CAN'T JUST LET ANYONE BECOME A GYM LEADER! MORTY CAUGHT A GASTLY...FOUR TIMES. THAT'S FUCKING IT!
I'm actually thoroughly happy now that the current generation is up to 649 Pokemon, because so help me God, if I see doubles in a Unova Gym, I will slap the shit out of everyone on the Pokemon team at Nintendo.
Haunter, go lick Haunter.
Not even half damage, but I'm not too worried.
Night Shade...hmm...a pretty solid choice, Morty, but only when you know it can take out your opponent. Your Haunter can only ever do 23 points of damage to me, so it's gonna take you three turns to knock me out that way.
Time to play dirty. Haunter...use Hypnosis.
IT HITS! FUCK YEAH!
Lullabyyyyyyy, and goodniiiiiiiiight, Haunter fuck hiiiiiiim with Night Shade!
Deep in the red and the fucker's still sleeping.
Final attack. Let's make it humiliating. Lick.
And the Fogbadge is MIIIIIIIINE! Along with the Shadow Ball TM. You know what? I'm gonna give this move to Kadabra because I want him to be able to destroy other Psychic-types. Ace-in-the-hole, bitches...ace-in-the-hole.
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?!?!?!
Haunter, lvl 26
Kadabra, lvl 24
Croconaw, lvl 22
Weepinbell, lvl 21
Geodude*, lvl 20
Flaaffy, lvl 20
Pokedex: 38, Badges: 4
No comments:
Post a Comment