WHY WOULD YOU DO THESE THINGS?!?!

I've got a solid set-up here.  I'm guessing that I'm gonna be fairly level with Bugsy's three Pokemon, especially if I bring my three birds with me.

Before I even begin this shit...BUGSY?!? Reeeeeeeaaaaaaally?

Okay, I was cool with Generation-I because they were subtle.  Brock (rock), Misty (Mist), Lt. Surge (duh), et cetera.  Now, we're just getting beaten over the head with the word-play.  Falkner...like FALCONER! GET IT? YOU DON'T?!?!? HOW ABOUT BUGSY, YOU DUMB SHIT!!!!!!!

Seriously, I'm starting to have some issues with Generation-II...

Azalea Town Gym: Bugsy, the Bug Guy...DID YA GET THE JOKE YET?!?!?

ROUND ONE:

Sandy's Hoothoot, lvl 15     vs.     Bugsy's Metapod, lvl 14

Hold on.  Stop.  No.  I don't fucking accept this on so many levels.

1) You are an offical Pokemon League-recognized Johto gym leader...and you have a fucking Metapod on your roster.  I don't give a shit if you are the "walking bug Pokemon encyclopedia"; if you really were, you'd know that there were a LOT better bugs out there than Metapod.

2) He is level 14.  He could have been a Butterfree at level 10.  You stopped him from evolving FIVE TIMES! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?!? God, you may be worse than Falkner!

I take that back...no one is worse than Falkner.

Alright.  I hope Metapod doesn't knock me out with his Harden attack...

Peck.  Super-effective.  A little over half-health for Metapod.

HARDEN! WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE!

Peck again! Super-effective.  You're way in the red now, Metapod.  Gonna Harden again?

Tackle?! Oh shit! Metapod has got some balls on him!

Here's what a real Tackle looks like, though.

And you're not out yet? Good for you! Give another Tackle!

And Peck.  Next?

ROUND TWO:

Sandy's Pidgey, lvl 17     vs.     Bugsy's Scyther, lvl 16

Oh shit.  I was NOT expecting Scyther.  Pidgey is the strongest Flying-type I have, so I'm gonna go for broke on this one.  Let's just hope I'm faster.

Scyther is faster, but he thought it would be good to start off the fight with a failed Leer.  I see why you did it, but it's not gonna help you.

Gust.  Third of the health gone.

Fury Cutter? Don't remember that move...but it must be a Bug-type move, because it only did 2 points of damage.  Nice Scyther, Bugsy.

Gust again.  Another third gone.  You better have some tricks up your sleeve, Scyther, or you are gonna die.

Fury Cutter again.  Not a very effective trick, but it did a little more damage...so...bravo?

Final Gust.  Shit...what sort of monster is Bugsy gonna unleash on me as his closer? Pinsir? Heracross? Ariados? Gulp...Scizor?

ROUND THREE:

Sandy's Spearow, lvl 15     vs.     Bugsy's Kakuna, lvl 14

Kakuna?!?!? Seriously?! Scyther was your closer, but you kept the Kakuna as an ace-in-the-hole?? WHAT?!?

AND YOU DID THE SAME THING TO HIM AS YOU DID METAPOD! You could have had a BEEDRILL! A BEEEEEEEEEEDRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL! Why would you do these things?!?!?

You're a fucking dumbass, Bugsy.  AND YOU PICK THE WORST GODDAMN POKEMON IN YOUR TYPE RANGE!

I don't want to waste anymore time with this than I have to, so I'm sending out Spearow to knock his ass into next week.  Besides, if Metapod knew Tackle, then this fucker knows Poison Sting, and I don't want to deal with that.

Peck.  Down to less than half health.  I am showing your dumb ass no mercy, Bugsy.

Str...String Shot.  You had maybe ONE MOVE before you fainted...and you chose String Shot?!?!?!?!?

Fury Attack, right the fuck now.  Hit only twice, but he's down to one health.  Let's see what he's gonna do.

Poison Sting.  And I'm poisoned! SHIT! FUCK! FUCK! FU--!

PSNCUREBERRY.

Oh...that's right, bitch.  I brought fruit with me.

Poison Sting again.  Aww, but this time, it wasn't as potent.  So sad...

Peck him into the ground, Spearow.

And what is this? Pidgey grew to level 18, meaning...

Aw hells yeah.  Hey, maybe if I catch a Pidgey, I can go to Violet City and become the FUCKING GYM LEADER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, Falkner aggravates the shit out of me.

The Hivebadge is mine, as well as the ability to cut down bullshit trees anywhere I see them.  There's one jerk-off by Union Cave that I need to have a little discussion with, 'cause that fucker thinks he's safe on a ledge behind a tree.

Fuck trees.

Croconaw, lvl 18

Pidgeotto, lvl 18

Flaaffy, lvl 16

Bellsprout, lvl 16

Spearow, lvl 15

Hoothoot, lvl 15

Pokedex: 22, Badges: 2